


Memory

by Altun_Heiral



Series: Vermillion Fire [3]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: F/F, i swear i love my WoL and i'm not normally this mean to her, in which i use lucina's idea bout why altun covers her face in order to bully altun, there's light altun/reina cause yes, there's reference to some stuff related the stuff from shb relic story quests, this is my story and i say what goes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:20:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29737932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Altun_Heiral/pseuds/Altun_Heiral
Summary: Altun remembers after a passing conversation with Reina why she began covering her face.
Relationships: Warrior of Light/Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV)
Series: Vermillion Fire [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2184399
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Memory

**Author's Note:**

> My friend Lucina gave me this idea when we were chit chatting one day after asking me why Altun always was covering her face on her canon jobs. It was the idea that she over time began to dislike her own face due to not remembering if she looked like her mother or not. And because she couldn't put a face to her memories nor a voice, she began to dislike the sight of her own face, thus she began covering it. Eventually i'll write the second part i just haven't figured out how i wish to go about it yet, so i haven't written it yet.

She wasn’t sure when it started. The tying of cloth over her face, the helmet she wore when she did ninjutsu, the horned helmet when she read the stars. Altun wasn’t sure when it started, but it did. She started hiding her eyes and face. Reina had pointed it out on a hunt, how she had her eyes covered, hidden from what Reina assumed to be the world. Perhaps that was part of it. Though, it wasn’t all of it. Altun had a thought on a particularly cold night on the First. She couldn’t remember enough of her mother’s face to know whether she looked like her now that she was older. She felt guilty. Shouldn’t she remember her parent’s faces? She was old enough to have memories of them when they died. So why couldn’t she remember them? As soon as she realized she couldn’t remember, she started covering her eyes. Sure she used magic, only so she could see through the cloth. It didn’t fix the issue though. She couldn’t remember her mother’s face.

Altun had locked herself up in her apartment trying to avoid everyone. Though she had forgotten, perhaps in her scouring of her memories in some attempt to remember her mother’s face, that Reina had a key to her place, seeing as they shared it. Altun reached up and carefully untied the soft cloth from around her eyes, staring down at it. She had tossed her gunblade haphazardly under the table by the door when she came in. With an aggravated growl, she tossed the cloth to the floor in a heap as well. She wanted to scream. Why couldn’t she just gods damned remember? It couldn’t be like she lost her whole memory when they knocked her out. How do you lose the memory of the sound of your parent’s voices, of their faces?

Her eyes scanned the room. She was trying to find something that could bring back a memory. There was nothing though. Altun let out a muffled cry as she leaned onto the wall and slumped down to the ground, curling in on herself. Was she doomed to begin to hate her own face simply because she couldn’t find memories of her mother’s? Why was it so hard? She could feel the tears prickling the corners of her eyes as she entangled her fingers into her hair, pulling at it till it stung her scalp. She pulled at her hair more, squeezing her eyes shut as she felt the tears start rolling down her cheeks. Altun curled further into herself, and missed the sound of the lock clicking on the door and opening. Reina walked into the room with a bag of food for them to make something for them to eat for dinner. She could sense the broken air around as soon as she stepped in, and knew immediately something was not right when she glanced down and saw Altun’s gunblade tossed to the side. Her eyes then found the cloth she normally kept over her face on the floor as well.

“Altun.” Reina said loudly, dropping the bag of food on the table. There was no answer. “Altun.” Reina said louder, though there was a certain desperation in her voice. No answer again. Worried why there was no answer even though she knew she was in here, Reina made to walk around the wall only to see Altun leaned against the wall crying. “Altun!” Reina walked quickly around to the front of her. She had her face buried in her knees, which she had pulled up to her chest. The white of her dress was shining under the light of the lamp on the ceiling. Reina reached out carefully and ran her fingers through Altun’s hair, trying to bring her back to some form of reality. There was a flinch and Reina pulled her hand back, as she didn’t wish to startle Altun. Reina reached out gingerly for Altun again, her fingers lacing back between the strands of hair. Reina heard a small choking sound as Altun reached up and weakly grabbed her hand.

“Altun. What’s wrong?” There was silence again, but she felt Altun pull her hand down and simply hold it tightly in her own. Reina moved to sit next to Altun so that it was easier for both of them. Altun instantly shifted from leaning on the wall to leaning on Reina’s shoulder. She still said nothing, and Reina simply allowed it to be so knowing Altun would say something when she was ready.

“I don’t want to point blame.” Altun said suddenly. “But I remembered why I subconsciously started covering my eyes when you brought it up the other day.” Reina frowned, leaning her head on top of Altun’s,

“What was the reason?” Another bout of silence. Reina could feel the hesitation from Altun.

“I can’t remember my mother’s face. I don’t know if I look anything like her now that I’m older. I was still young when she died, but not so young that I don’t have memories. So why can’t I remember?” Altun could feel the tears coming again and Reina reluctantly let go of Altun’s hand, but only so she could weave her arm around her waist instead, in some attempt to hold her closer to her. “I didn’t hit my head so hard that I can’t remember.”

“You probably have some of her features. Maybe your eye shape, or the same nose.” Reina lightly suggested. “You won’t completely look like her. There’s no reason for you to start to hate your own face simply because you think you should look like your mother.” Altun let out a sigh.

“Am I a bad person?”  
  
”You? Heavens no! What makes you say that?”

“I can’t remember her face. Her voice. Nothing. I can’t remember my father’s either.” Altun stated simply.

“The longer we go without people, the more their voices fade from memories without recordings. Eventually faces fade without pictures to look at as well.” Reina paused. She could feel Altun wavering still. “Maybe there’s a way we can find that will help you remember.”

“What if I see her face and realize I look nothing like her, that everything I am will feel fake?” Reina pulled Altun as close as she could to herself now.

“It’s true we get features from our parents. But we are not our parents. Your face is still your own, and clearly one your parents loved.” Reina moved to kiss the top of Altun’s head gently. There was another sigh from Altun. She was clearly grappling with the fact that she had let herself come to hate the face she had simply because she couldn’t remember her mother’s or if she looked like her mother. It was then Reina had an idea. Why hadn’t she thought of it before when they had been on the Southern Front of Bozja not that long ago. “Altun. We could use a memory crystal, like in Bozja, we could go back. Find a memory from your childhood.” Altun moved suddenly and glanced up at Reina. “We can go into your memory and you can see your parents, and put their faces back to your memory. And their voices.”

“Let’s go.” Altun said, and her and Reina were up off the floor of their apartment, packing and gathering what they needed for the trip to Gangos.


End file.
